Budging and Not Budging

Well, cutting my portions in half is finally working. The scale has been at 263 for the last 4 days, so I’ll finally take that number as “real”. It has taken a very long time to get here – especially since I already blipped here once, but I'm glad I finally made it.

I'm continuing with the brisk walking. It alone didn't seem to make a shred of difference on the scale, sadly, but I know in the long run it will be very important. I feel stronger, and I know how much my body loves it. I really really didn't want to go today. I was feeling crummy - muscles hurting, tired, blah - but went ahead and did it anyway because it was Wednesday by golly, and on Wednesday I walk. I did as always: start by telling myself I only have to go 20 minutes, and ended up going 40. I felt so much better after, it was uncanny. My body truly craves exercise - I have to make it a priority, whether or not it affects the scale.

On another note, I saw a message tonight on a board I read about a woman who just got pre-approval for her Band from my same insurance company. The one that said they didn't pre-approve. The one that denied me 3 times. I'm still a bit bitter. We're working on it as best we can, but at the same time we're having to make payments - to a collections agency. That makes me feel like total crap. We've always had good credit: to be paying a collections agency feels scary and failure-ish. I don't like to think about it because I'm supposed to think Happy! Positive! thoughts, but I think all these negative experiences have soured me toward my Band (and my clinic, and my insurance company). I'm still praying and working on it, hoping it will come out all right in the end.