A Not-So-Brief Update

Thanks to those of you who keep coming by and keep encouraging me. I’ve been off the grid for a while here and everywhere else in my electronic and "real" life. It was so bad that one of my best friends called last week, asking me where on earth I was “You’re nowhere on the internet. I know that means Bad Things for you.” I’m so grateful for friends like that.

I wanted to wait until I had a great post for you all – you know, one wittily written and full of amazing insight. That just hasn’t happened, so I decided to post a little catch-up blurb instead.

I’ve been under amazing stress in my personal life. The stress is diminishing from its peak, but will still be high for a bit longer.

The good news is that I continue to lose and maintain my weight. For all you playing along at home, my weight is now 276.0. Not too shabby! Not the number I’d like to have 5 months post-op (29 pounds down since then, 36 pounds down from my highest in January 2007), but much better than the alternative of going higher and higher. In the past, stress has led me to eat and therefore gain weight. So I’m going to call this a victory.

In other victorious-ness, I have gotten back into exercise. I walked so much in China and wanted to keep the activity going when I got back. Curves is my workout of choice and I’ve been giving it all I’ve got every time I go. I can work up a real sweat there when I want to. Things always feel better when I work out, but it’s so hard to make it a priority. And with my fibromyalgia, my body often feels like crap. When I’m popping the vic0din and dealing with pain so bad I can hardly see straight (like I have been lately with all this stress), exercise has no natural appeal. I’m proud of myself for going anyway. I want to remember how much better I feel mentally and physically afterward. In a paradoxical effect, research (and personal experience) have shown that exercise really helps the fibro. It also provides a way to get out of the mental hamster wheel my brain loves to spin. Thanks also to Dagny for the exercise inspiration!

I did buy ice cream the other day, though, and have made a huge dent in it. Must. Stop. I’ve got to focus on the way I feel when I eat better and exercise. I can’t change my circumstances right now, but I can develop better ways to deal with stress. Two steps forward, one step back is still one step in the right direction.

I’ve cut waaaaaaay back on alcohol, too. I know that’s made a difference in my weight (and helped me find other ways to deal with stress…I’ve never been alcoholic and never drink to get drunk, but that pattern is in my family so it starts to scare me when I have a couple drinks “to relax”).

So much more to say, and hopefully I’ll find the time and inspiration soon.

Thanks again for your care and support. I love hearing from you, and reading your blogs for inspiration as I continue my long journey.